40 Funny Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman
1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.
2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay. (I hug my best friend)
3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. (I've never tried to picture someone naked while I was talking to them.)
4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected. (I don't think so.)
6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time. (And men can't? Hmm.. not many women could handle my old job and that involved doing alot of different things at once.)
7. Women live longer than men. (And that's funny?)
8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes. (So? Men don't need cosmetics.)
9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice. (My guy friends notice when I disappear.)
10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).
11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.
12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers. (Neither do I.)
13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. (Bah.. That's BS.)
14. Women know the truth about whether size matters... (I've heard size doesn't matter at all and I've also heard it matters, so which is it? I guess it just depends on the girl and what she prefers more.)
15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time. (I take drives and don't try to beat any time.)
16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know. (If a girl forgets to shave, it doesn't bother me much.)
17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football. (Bwahaha.. I know more girls that think about sex all the time then I do guys who do.)
18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. (I don't either, so what's your point?)
19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. (It's a wonderful thing to be a slut with low self-esteem who defines her worth by banging rockers who have dipped their wick in anything that breathes and are possibly carrying around a host of various contagions.)
20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.
21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.
22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear. (I don't pat guys rears either! That's gay :p)
23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper. (That, I'll admit, is funny.)
24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute. (Depends on what she said. Ann Coulter comes to mind.)
25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake. (I admit my mistakes all the time. Most women DON'T admit their mistakes.)
26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp. (That's bullshit.)
27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test. (Obviously)
28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.
29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex. (Shorter chicks are hotter anyways.)
30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored. (So can I.)
31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.
32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men. (I know some girls who can out drink me.)
33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk. (No, they just go for things like clit and nipple piercings.)
34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions. (I'm guilty of driving to hell and back and not asking for directions.)
35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting. (Neither am I and who cares if you are?)
36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do. (Obvious.)
37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.
38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.
40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week. (Ummm, I can keep a pot plant alive for a good amount of time also.)
Let's all celebrate the fact that all women are manipulative, emotionally unstable, and shallow!
Any woman in her right mind ought to be offended by this. And if you're not, and your reaction is, "Hell yea!", then you, ma'am, are a big part of the problem.
It's never cool to go out of your way to justify a stereotype.
2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay. (I hug my best friend)
3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. (I've never tried to picture someone naked while I was talking to them.)
4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected. (I don't think so.)
6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time. (And men can't? Hmm.. not many women could handle my old job and that involved doing alot of different things at once.)
7. Women live longer than men. (And that's funny?)
8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes. (So? Men don't need cosmetics.)
9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice. (My guy friends notice when I disappear.)
10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).
11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.
12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers. (Neither do I.)
13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. (Bah.. That's BS.)
14. Women know the truth about whether size matters... (I've heard size doesn't matter at all and I've also heard it matters, so which is it? I guess it just depends on the girl and what she prefers more.)
15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time. (I take drives and don't try to beat any time.)
16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know. (If a girl forgets to shave, it doesn't bother me much.)
17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football. (Bwahaha.. I know more girls that think about sex all the time then I do guys who do.)
18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. (I don't either, so what's your point?)
19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. (It's a wonderful thing to be a slut with low self-esteem who defines her worth by banging rockers who have dipped their wick in anything that breathes and are possibly carrying around a host of various contagions.)
20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.
21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.
22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear. (I don't pat guys rears either! That's gay :p)
23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper. (That, I'll admit, is funny.)
24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute. (Depends on what she said. Ann Coulter comes to mind.)
25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake. (I admit my mistakes all the time. Most women DON'T admit their mistakes.)
26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp. (That's bullshit.)
27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test. (Obviously)
28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.
29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex. (Shorter chicks are hotter anyways.)
30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored. (So can I.)
31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.
32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men. (I know some girls who can out drink me.)
33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk. (No, they just go for things like clit and nipple piercings.)
34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions. (I'm guilty of driving to hell and back and not asking for directions.)
35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting. (Neither am I and who cares if you are?)
36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do. (Obvious.)
37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.
38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.
40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week. (Ummm, I can keep a pot plant alive for a good amount of time also.)
Let's all celebrate the fact that all women are manipulative, emotionally unstable, and shallow!
Any woman in her right mind ought to be offended by this. And if you're not, and your reaction is, "Hell yea!", then you, ma'am, are a big part of the problem.
It's never cool to go out of your way to justify a stereotype.
posted by Mikey B. at 12:51 AM
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
meanie
number 13 is not BS, actually; shoes provide a startlingly intimate sneak peek at a person's nature. but in my youth i did lust after an embarrassing number of cartoon characters, and i still have a swoony crush on chester from "sifl and olly," so i agree that most of this list is bollocks.
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