Walk the White Line
So lastnight I was up at Ericas. Me and my bro were just hanging out at her place, drinking a few beers and talking. I wasn't in the mood to go downtown, since I was out till 2am the night before and woke up at 4:30am for work. Needless to say I was really tired, but I wanted to go out and do something instead of sleeping.
I decided to leave alittle after 2am, since it was getting past my bedtime and I was really tired. When I left, I felt fine for the most part, just alittle sleepy. I didn't even have a buzz or anything. I'm heading home and I see this cop pulling up to a stop sign as I was heading down the road. I kinda kept an eye on him in my rear-view mirror to see if he was gonna turn my way. He turns my way and I just knew he was gonna pull me over. A few seconds later, my thought turned to reality and I noticed blinking lights in my mirror.
I find a decent spot to pull over since we were near some railroad tracks and stop. I'm sitting there thinking "I hope to god that I don't get a freaking DUI". I had 2 beers, so I was hoping he wasn't gonna smell anything. After about 3 minutes the officer approaches the car and asks for my drivers license, proof of insurance and registration. I fumbled through the glove box trying to find my recent information, since I usually just leave all my old papers in the car.
He takes my papers and asks if I've had anything to drink tonight. I told him I had a beer about an hour ago over at a friends house. He then asks if I could step out of the car. I get out of the car and he tells me he is gonna do some tests. He takes his pen out of his pocket and asks me to remove my glasses. I do that and he tells me to follow the tip of the pen with my eyes, without moving my head. I'm thinking, "Great!! I can't even see the damn pen now, since he told me to remove my glasses". I follow the pen for about 4 minutes as he moves the pen side to side. I did fine with that, but I started getting nervous.
Next he tells me to walk the white line along the side of the road. I'm thinking this should be easy till I looked at the white line. The freaking line is slopped to the side at about a 45 degree angle!! So he shows me how to do it going up hill instead of walking the actual line and then tells me to walk. I take a few steps, but forget to count out loud on the first step. At about my third step a huge gust of wind came and made me lose alittle balance and he calls for backup. I'm thinking "Great, I'm going to jail now".
He shows me how to do the last test. Stand on one foot with my toe pointed down and count out loud. Ok, this should be easy. I did about 12 seconds on one foot and 11 seconds on my other foot in the cold wind. As soon as I was done, backup had arrived and the other officer just stood there with me while he went and got the breathalizer. I was chatting with the other cop for a bit. He wasn't as big of a prick as the cop who pulled me over.
He comes back with the breathalizer and asks me to take a deep breath, so I do that. Then he tells me to blow into this tube. I blow into the tube and thought I was in for it. It takes about a minute to register and the cop says "Wow....long pause... he wasn't lieing". He tells me I'm fine and to get back in the warm car. As we are walking back to the car, he shines his flashlight in and notices some ashes by my shifter. He asks if I smoke and I tell him yea. Then he pretty much accused me of smoking "whacky tobaccy" and asked if he could search my car. I said "knock yourself out, you are not gonna find anything". He seemed real determined to get me on something after that comment, so he pretty much dives into my car. I'm standing there and smirking at this cop as he's diving around the front seat of my car.
He gets out and tells me he is satisfied and tells me to have a seat in my car. He comes back with all my papers and tells me he isn't gonna cite me, but the reason he pulled me over was because I briefly crossed the white line when I was going around this bend. He tells me that it's a 160 dollar fine, but he isn't gonna cite me since I was honest (I guess about having a beer) and started mumbling something about taking my hard earned money. He was making it sound as if he is doing me a favor, when he is the one who pulled me over in the first place. He told me to drive more carefully and then told me to have a nice night.
I get home and my bro is online. He told me he was worried about me and was just about to call me when I popped online.
So yea, I had a fun filled night lastnight. The reasons I did really badly at walking the line was because I was nervous and alittle sleepy. The slope in the road and the really cold wind didn't help me much either. I was shaking because I was nervous and cold and I just wanted to go home to my bed.
I also shouldn't have been watching my rear-viewed mirror to see if this cop is gonna come after me. That may have been a reason why I swerved alittle. I really don't think I even crossed the line, which is why he didn't cite me. I'd have fought that since he couldn't tell whether I was swerving or not from where he was at. I think he may have seen a young guy driving a sporty car after 2am (when bars normally close) and figured I was out getting drunk. I think it kind of pissed him off that he couldn't get me for anything. Ohh well, atleast he tried :).
I decided to leave alittle after 2am, since it was getting past my bedtime and I was really tired. When I left, I felt fine for the most part, just alittle sleepy. I didn't even have a buzz or anything. I'm heading home and I see this cop pulling up to a stop sign as I was heading down the road. I kinda kept an eye on him in my rear-view mirror to see if he was gonna turn my way. He turns my way and I just knew he was gonna pull me over. A few seconds later, my thought turned to reality and I noticed blinking lights in my mirror.
I find a decent spot to pull over since we were near some railroad tracks and stop. I'm sitting there thinking "I hope to god that I don't get a freaking DUI". I had 2 beers, so I was hoping he wasn't gonna smell anything. After about 3 minutes the officer approaches the car and asks for my drivers license, proof of insurance and registration. I fumbled through the glove box trying to find my recent information, since I usually just leave all my old papers in the car.
He takes my papers and asks if I've had anything to drink tonight. I told him I had a beer about an hour ago over at a friends house. He then asks if I could step out of the car. I get out of the car and he tells me he is gonna do some tests. He takes his pen out of his pocket and asks me to remove my glasses. I do that and he tells me to follow the tip of the pen with my eyes, without moving my head. I'm thinking, "Great!! I can't even see the damn pen now, since he told me to remove my glasses". I follow the pen for about 4 minutes as he moves the pen side to side. I did fine with that, but I started getting nervous.
Next he tells me to walk the white line along the side of the road. I'm thinking this should be easy till I looked at the white line. The freaking line is slopped to the side at about a 45 degree angle!! So he shows me how to do it going up hill instead of walking the actual line and then tells me to walk. I take a few steps, but forget to count out loud on the first step. At about my third step a huge gust of wind came and made me lose alittle balance and he calls for backup. I'm thinking "Great, I'm going to jail now".
He shows me how to do the last test. Stand on one foot with my toe pointed down and count out loud. Ok, this should be easy. I did about 12 seconds on one foot and 11 seconds on my other foot in the cold wind. As soon as I was done, backup had arrived and the other officer just stood there with me while he went and got the breathalizer. I was chatting with the other cop for a bit. He wasn't as big of a prick as the cop who pulled me over.
He comes back with the breathalizer and asks me to take a deep breath, so I do that. Then he tells me to blow into this tube. I blow into the tube and thought I was in for it. It takes about a minute to register and the cop says "Wow....long pause... he wasn't lieing". He tells me I'm fine and to get back in the warm car. As we are walking back to the car, he shines his flashlight in and notices some ashes by my shifter. He asks if I smoke and I tell him yea. Then he pretty much accused me of smoking "whacky tobaccy" and asked if he could search my car. I said "knock yourself out, you are not gonna find anything". He seemed real determined to get me on something after that comment, so he pretty much dives into my car. I'm standing there and smirking at this cop as he's diving around the front seat of my car.
He gets out and tells me he is satisfied and tells me to have a seat in my car. He comes back with all my papers and tells me he isn't gonna cite me, but the reason he pulled me over was because I briefly crossed the white line when I was going around this bend. He tells me that it's a 160 dollar fine, but he isn't gonna cite me since I was honest (I guess about having a beer) and started mumbling something about taking my hard earned money. He was making it sound as if he is doing me a favor, when he is the one who pulled me over in the first place. He told me to drive more carefully and then told me to have a nice night.
I get home and my bro is online. He told me he was worried about me and was just about to call me when I popped online.
So yea, I had a fun filled night lastnight. The reasons I did really badly at walking the line was because I was nervous and alittle sleepy. The slope in the road and the really cold wind didn't help me much either. I was shaking because I was nervous and cold and I just wanted to go home to my bed.
I also shouldn't have been watching my rear-viewed mirror to see if this cop is gonna come after me. That may have been a reason why I swerved alittle. I really don't think I even crossed the line, which is why he didn't cite me. I'd have fought that since he couldn't tell whether I was swerving or not from where he was at. I think he may have seen a young guy driving a sporty car after 2am (when bars normally close) and figured I was out getting drunk. I think it kind of pissed him off that he couldn't get me for anything. Ohh well, atleast he tried :).
posted by Mikey B. at 10:38 PM
2 Comments:
1. buy a dz. donuts for your back seat BEFORE you go out.
2. practice walking the "white line" once a day.
3. save wacky weed smoking for the privacy of your own home.
4. wear a fake mustache and old chap cap.
5. store your beanie babies on the back window ledge.
6. always drink so much @ the party you just pass out.
7. don't drink & drive.
1. I should, but they'd be pretty stale after awhile.
2. I have started to practice walking the white line. I'm getting fairly good at it.
3. I don't do the wacky weed anymore.
4. Funny!
5. I don't have any beanie babies and if I did, I don't see how they would distract the police :p.
6. I can't stand getting plastered. I used to love to get trashed, but now I dislike it.
7. I know, I've been guilty of it before, but I didn't have alot. I just nursed the whole 2 beers I had all night. I was tired from working 11 hours and I was running on very little sleep.
8. Thanks for the comment anonymous. You rock!
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