Foreign Aide?

Yanno, I was wondering something a little bit ago. I wonder how many countries are going to come out our aide due to the hurricane. I think now would be a great time for other countries to step in and offer assistance.

I wonder if they will get us some aide like we did for the tsunami and any other disaster that we stepped in and helped out.

Ehh.. It was just a random thought going through my head and thought it was post worthy :p. If anyone reading this has been effected by hurricane Katrina, I sincerely hope that you, your family and friends are ok. You are all in my thoughts.

Stay safe everyone.

:Edit

http://www.bernama.com.my/bernama/v3/news.php?id=152850

CARACAS (AFP) - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez offered to send food and fuel to the United States after the powerful Hurricane Katrina pummeled the US south, ravaging US crude production.

The leftist leader, a frequent critic of the United States and a target himself of US disapproval, said Venezuela could send aid workers with drinking water, food and fuel to US communities hit by the hurricane.

"We place at the disposition of the people of the United States in the event of shortages -- we have drinking water, food, we can provide fuel," Chavez told reporters.

Chavez said fuel could be sent to the United States via a Citgo refinery that has not been affected by the hurricane. Citgo is owned by Venezuela's state-owned oil company, Petroleos de Venezuela (PDVSA).

Wonder if good ol' Pat Roberston still wants the guy taken out?

Katrina

Get out of New Orleans while you can!

To Meg

buy me tampons at the store when i'm too grumpy & tired to go out.(i'd do that)
make me a bowl of soup when i'm sick(of course!)
tuck me in when i'm too tired to pull the covers up (I give you little online tucks)
call 911 when i pass out and stop breathing (Of course I would!)
take me to the dollar store & arby's for a date (haha sounds like fun!)
deal with my rents( I can deal with peoples parents)
play games with me (Yep.. we've played lots of games together)
get my jokes (well most of them) and maybe laugh at them (haha you know I do)
love me forever (of course I would if you would let me in)

WWJK

Who would Jesus kill?

http://www.au.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=7513&news_iv_ctrl=1241&abbr=pr

TV PREACHER’S CALL FOR MURDER OF VENEZUELAN LEADER IS CHILLING, SAYS AMERICANS UNITED

AU’s Lynn Blasts Robertson’s Latest Extreme Commentary

TV preacher Pat Robertson’s call for the killing of a foreign leader is chilling, says Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

During his “700 Club” broadcast Aug. 22, Robertson lit into President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela as an American enemy that needed to be done away with.

“You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he [Chavez] thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it,” Robertson told his audience. “It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.”

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United, said Robertson’s call for violence should be condemned by American officials.

“It is deplorable for a Christian preacher to go before his vast audience and urge the American government to murder a foreign leader,” Lynn said. “His bloodthirsty commentary is over the top, even by Pat’s rather elastic standard.

“This is just the kind of religious fanaticism that the world does not need more of,” Lynn continued. “President Bush should immediately disavow Robertson and his extremist rhetoric.”

Lynn noted that Robertson has a long history of outrageous commentary, including shrill attacks on Islam. Most recently, Pat has been urging his “700 Club” audience to pray for more vacancies on the U.S. Supreme Court so that current justices can be replaced by President Bush with “righteous” judges.

During the same Aug. 22 broadcast where Robertson called for the assassination of Chavez, the TV preacher prayed that God “take control of the court, that you would take control of the confirmation process for Judge Roberts, that you bring about other vacancies on the court….”

Americans United is a religious liberty watchdog group based in Washington, D.C. Founded in 1947, the organization educates Americans about the importance of church-state separation in safeguarding religious freedom.

Thank god there are still sensible people in this world. Praying for more vacancies in the Supreme Court is just wrong. The Supreme Court is a life appointment and usually the only way out of that job is death or a serious illness. Why would you wish harm on another individual and claim you are a Christian? Then Robertson goes and tells the government to assasinate Chavez. Bah.. This guy sounds as bad as Osama Bin Laden. Religious extremism should not be tolerated. Wishing or praying death/bodily harm on people should be considered a threat and not taken lightly.

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't one of the 10 Commandments Thou Shalt Not Kill? I think I remember reading that somewhere. I may be wrong though :p.

Sorry about the rant. I just feel disturbed when people like this have this much power and I feel even more disturbed when people agree with this clown.

I have a Penis Nose!

The Nun and the Taxi Driver

A nun hails a taxi, tells the driver where she wants to go and climbs into the back seat.

As the taxi drives along, the Nun notices that the taxi driver keeps looking at her in his back mirror, so she asks the driver "My child, I notice you keep looking at me in your mirror, is there something on your mind bothering you that I can help with?"

"No" says the taxi driver.

However, the nun notices he still keeps looking at her, so she tries again "My child, I have dedicated my life to God and the Church so I can be of benefit to people, if you have anything on your mind you want to share with me, I will happily listen."

The Taxi driver then says to the nun,

"Sister, I am embarressed to say this, but I have always had a sexual fantasy about a nun giving me a blow job. I feel bad about sharing that with you, but since you insisted."

The Nun says "My child, I am here to serve God and if I can help you in any way, then I must. Tell me, are you a catholic?"

"Yes" says the Taxi Driver.

"And are you Married "No," says the Taxi Driver."

"Well then", says the nun, "I can see no reason why I should not help you fulfill your fantasy. I can confess it later, and maybe this fantasy will go away once it has been fulfilled."

So the Taxi driver pulls over, and the Nun fulfills the man's fantasy.

Aftwards, they are driving along, and the nun notices tha man still keeps looking at her, but now very sheepishly. So again she asks "Is there anything I can do for you?"

The man says, "I feel terribly guilty, and have to confess to the truth. Sister, I am not a catholic, I am a jew! And I am not single, I am married with three children!"

The nun smiles at him knowingly and says "My child, don't worry about it, My name is not Sister Agatha, it is John! And I am not a nun, I am a gay man going to a costume party!"

Harry Potter Broomstick

I know this is old news, but I still find it funny :-).

40 Funny Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman

1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.

2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay. (I hug my best friend)

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. (I've never tried to picture someone naked while I was talking to them.)

4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.

5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected. (I don't think so.)

6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time. (And men can't? Hmm.. not many women could handle my old job and that involved doing alot of different things at once.)

7. Women live longer than men. (And that's funny?)

8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes. (So? Men don't need cosmetics.)

9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice. (My guy friends notice when I disappear.)

10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).

11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.

12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers. (Neither do I.)

13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. (Bah.. That's BS.)

14. Women know the truth about whether size matters... (I've heard size doesn't matter at all and I've also heard it matters, so which is it? I guess it just depends on the girl and what she prefers more.)

15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time. (I take drives and don't try to beat any time.)

16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know. (If a girl forgets to shave, it doesn't bother me much.)

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football. (Bwahaha.. I know more girls that think about sex all the time then I do guys who do.)

18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. (I don't either, so what's your point?)

19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. (It's a wonderful thing to be a slut with low self-esteem who defines her worth by banging rockers who have dipped their wick in anything that breathes and are possibly carrying around a host of various contagions.)

20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.

22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear. (I don't pat guys rears either! That's gay :p)

23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper. (That, I'll admit, is funny.)

24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute. (Depends on what she said. Ann Coulter comes to mind.)

25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake. (I admit my mistakes all the time. Most women DON'T admit their mistakes.)

26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp. (That's bullshit.)

27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test. (Obviously)

28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.

29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex. (Shorter chicks are hotter anyways.)

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored. (So can I.)

31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.

32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men. (I know some girls who can out drink me.)

33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk. (No, they just go for things like clit and nipple piercings.)

34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions. (I'm guilty of driving to hell and back and not asking for directions.)

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting. (Neither am I and who cares if you are?)

36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do. (Obvious.)

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week. (Ummm, I can keep a pot plant alive for a good amount of time also.)

Let's all celebrate the fact that all women are manipulative, emotionally unstable, and shallow!

Any woman in her right mind ought to be offended by this. And if you're not, and your reaction is, "Hell yea!", then you, ma'am, are a big part of the problem.

It's never cool to go out of your way to justify a stereotype.

Dear Abby

Dear Abby:

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have fun with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.

I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...

There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

Abby, should I tell my fiancee' what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Reply to a job rejection letter.

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your letter. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a job.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite your firm’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate employment on Monday. I look forward to working with you.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

Mikey B.

Milking Humans???? WTF?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4744651.stm


Seriously, that thought is just disturbing.

Stupid Pennsylvania Laws

It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding. (Damn... There goes my wedding plans)

It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. (Okay...what about freezers?)

Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue. (I've never seen anyone do this one)

A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. (Why does the state care?)

You may not sing in the bathtub. (What about a shower?)

Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. (More wedding plans down the drain)

You may not catch a fish with your hands. (Bah)

You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. (Do you still need a license?)

Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. (Gee...you learn something new everyday...)

Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.

One's pants may be worn no lower than five inches below the waist.

All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires. (How can you tell when a fire will happen?)

It is required that a woman have a permit to wear cosmetics. (hahaha)

No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator.

It is still illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car. (What?! STILL illegal?!)

Horses are not to be tied to parking meters.