Uhh. Scarey

Adult sexual apparatus

AbstractAn improved hands-free adult sexual apparatus or adult toy for use by women or men. The apparatus is secured onto the user, or the user's clothing or belt, in a harness-like assembly and is also partially restrained to a fixed object. In one embodiment, a dildo or other phallic device is secured to a supportive backing while elastic straps allow the user to comfortably utilize the invention. A restraining line partially secures movement of the dildo or phallic device while the user manipulates the elastic straps. In another embodiment, the phallic device has a lubricant chamber that is activated by a user controlled trigger to permit the user to add lubricant as desired to the phallic device. In another embodiment, the invention has instead a sheathing device for use by males.

Isn't that the thing the guys at Home Depot wear? I always thought they walked funny and seemed a little strange. I guess it wasn't my imagination afterall :p.